The fault in our upbringing

October 25, 2017
gender roles in society

When I observe the evolution both Genders have experienced in the past few years- I see Men lagging behind. Do not take me wrong but really, this is what I see from my end.

Did anyone hear any man gaining superpowers after becoming a Father? But I am sure you must have heard many women talking about acquiring Superpowers after becoming Mothers.

This is where we go wrong. We always set too-high, unrealistic expectations from Self.


Why we always strive to be the best, to be in the good books of all, to be that ideal Daughter, Daughter-in-law, Wife, and Mother?


This is not something Men did but we did this to ourselves. But man, do we have an option?

No. When responsibilities get piled up and workload gets doubled or tripled, we started feeling like a torchbearer and end up overburdening ourselves.

What happens at the end of the day, is cribbing or nagging or yelling at Kids. Now you know why we Women suffer more form mood swings or anxiety or self-pity?


The problem lies with the upbringing. We do it differently when it comes to Girls and Boys. Why? Because we are hard-wired with our traditions and customs and stereotypes. And if someone tries to question them, they get criticism from everyone.


I agree the basic difference lies in the genetics but rather than bridging the gap, we reinforced it with passing time.


We always lecture our Girls to learn the skills in the name of Marriage. We tell them that the responsibility of a successful marriage lies all on their shoulders. We have set different gender roles in society.


I accept the fact that when these rules were set, the time was different. Women were only restricted to Home to do household work and it was only Men who took the responsibility for outside work. But Now nothing remains same. Both spend equal time outside Home. Both have to deal with people. Both are contributing to the financial needs of Home. Both need their personal space.

Is there still a need to follow these outdated rules? Is there a need to define gender roles in society?


This only ends up disrupting the Marital Life and ends up stressing the couples. We need to break the rules and rather take up the responsibilities as per time and work allows.




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  • Reply Mayuri Nidigallu October 31, 2017 at 9:30 am

    You’ve hit the nail on the head with this balanced post, Upasna. Everything around us has changed, why not stereotypes?

    • Reply Upasna November 2, 2017 at 3:13 pm

      Thanks Mayuri…I tried my best to bring the balance to my post so that we don’t again create the gap in the opposite direction.

  • Reply Akshata October 29, 2017 at 1:35 pm

    Damn true can’t agree more- the skewed mentality has a lot to do with the thoughts ingrained right since childhood and the experiences over the years which reaffirm it. This needs to change by making a conscious attempt

    • Reply Upasna October 30, 2017 at 11:27 am

      Thanks for sharing your thoughts on this sensitive topic Akshata. I can say- Things are changing at my Home. Just because I take the initiative.

  • Reply Vishal Bheeroo October 28, 2017 at 11:54 am

    Education is key to change our perceptions in the way we view men and women. The worse part on the expectations and idealism surrounding the daughter, mother or bahu often forgetting that she is a human being with likes and dislikes. Very well observed.

    • Reply Upasna October 30, 2017 at 11:30 am

      You are right Vishal- Education is the key but still, we have so many educated people around still following the stereotypes. We need to spread awareness and not accept everything by default. As I said, we women need to take the first step.

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