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PARENTING PEOPLE

Dealing with people and unsolicited advice

May 4, 2016

Unsolicited advice is a common thing in our country. Every Parent has to face it.

‘WEAK’ is a haunted word to me. It’s been overused by people around, to the point of losing its original meaning. Let’s not confuse it with slim. This interchanging of words has become ingrained enough in our psyche as to become a cliché.

I was a lean but active child- fond of butter and paneer. Despite my love for milk products, I did not ever have ‘body fat’ which made me look skinny. My overly lean body was always a matter of discussion among people around. They effortlessly used to question my mother “Kuch khilate nahi kya isko?” (Don’t you feed her anything?) But I never noticed a frown on my mother’s face when someone pointed it out. She welcomed unsolicited advice with a smile and replied politely.

But that was not the case with me.

I decided to deal with it not live with it.

 

unsolicited advice

For me, it started when I became a Mother. Actually, before it. The day I had my last ultrasound just few days before my due date, I was shattered. The baby’s growth progress was a little less in the last 1 month. The doctor who was taking the ultrasound did not even think of the after-effects before using that dreaded word ‘weak’ for our to be child.

My whole world collapsed in the blink of an eye.

I cursed myself for not taking proper care of myself. I did not know what to do now. A single word changed the atmosphere and filled our world with the blues. I still remember that day when I cried in the hospital itself and my husband tried to console me. Finally, talking to my sister in law calmed me down, her positive words bringing me back to life. Everything went well and we had our little one in our arms.

This wasn’t the end but the beginning.

Read full story on Parentous here.

 

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  • Thanks Meera.

  • It is not always the text but the context that matters. Some words affect us more than the other and we take it so close to our heart and we become emotional. This real story of yours is so profound and we all go through similar situation when we get associated with some characteristics which we have no control and it affects our mind. Dealing with it so important rather than living with it, we all have our weakness and the biggest strength lies in acknowledging and accepting our weakness and working out to overcome or work around it to make our life more meaningful and beautiful…you have done it with such craftness and it is an inspiartion for others…
    😀

    • True Nihar. Context matters as you cannot take a single mean word but accept a lengthy loving advice. Thanks for the appreciation.

  • Sana

    I tooo have gone through the skinny tagging and I have gone sick of hearing it. I try to learn both the positive and the negative of a comment. After all it is our body and our soul and who wants to deal with it better than us?

    • I can very well understand this as I am in the same boat Sana. Yes, its good to clear the things and communicate if we do not like something. It prevents further agony. Thanks for dropping by.

  • All is well that ends well…i take worries as a part of life (to be at peace with them).