You are out with your Kid and suddenly bump into one of your Friends.
What is the first thing you do? You ask your Kid to say Hello.
But rather than saying hello, your Kid says something that hits you hard on your face. OMG!
How would you react? There are 3 things you can do:
You can punish your Kid.
You can feel sorry for your Kid’s behavior.
You can laugh out his reply.
When I was a fresher aka “A just-become Parent to a Toddler”, it was hard for me to digest his replies when I used to ask him to say “Hello”. It took me good long time to accept the fact until I stopped asking him to greet people.
You may label your Toddler “Rude” but it is not only them but their reaction to other’s actions, their imitating skills and their desire to do the tasks independently.
Believe me, they will grow out of it. So, without doubting your parental skills and yelling at them or bash them each time you observe them being rude, you can tackle their behavior. Isn’t it Good news!
How I am tackling the rude Toddler behavior
It may be temper tantrums, meltdown or still-developing ability to process emotions. The reason may be any but let me tell you that nothing will work out overnight. It will take time to make your Toddler understand the things.
You need to be patient and calm with them, which I agree is not easy but that is the best you can do.
No, I am not kidding. It happens. Almost every Toddler especially Boys, says this word loud in the public.
My Toddler used to utter this word every time he used to meet any new person and they greet him with Hello.
Isn’t it embarrassing? It is for sure.
It’s not their fault totally. I found that his habit got reinforced every time someone laughed at it. He might have thought its funny to say this.
Things I tried that did not work– I asked him not to say this word as it’s not good, I said “Shame shame”
What worked out instead– Kids do these things to gain attention so rather than giving him what he wanted, I started ignoring him when he said that and asked others to do the same.
Secondly, I asked him to say this word only in the toilet. I take him to the nearest washroom if possible and allow him to say the word as many times as he wishes to. He will resign after a few minutes.
Slowly, the habit is fading away.
You may find your Toddler saying “I hate you”, “I will slap you”, “You are bad” or other mean things to others or You. Though at this age, they do not literally mean to hurt anyone with their words. But it’s not easy to gulp down disrespectful behavior.
The only thing you can do at the moment is to stay calm and feel sorry for the behavior.
But yes, they need to be taught that it is not acceptable to say mean things. Talk to them when they are calm and ready to listen.
For example– My Kid came to me saying that his classmate is bad as he hit him (though, I don’t believe him when he says that). I let him complete and said- When someone does that, tell them that hitting is not good, move away and don’t play with them. I think he liked my point as he repeats it every now and then.
or When He says mean things to me. I say ” I got hurt or I was sad when you said that”. He comes to me to give me a hug or kiss.
At 2.5 yrs, my Toddler has developed the habit of hitting the Kids younger to him and believe me, it was hurtful.
Sometimes, I lashed out at him. Sometimes, I made him stand alone. But nothing seemed working. I felt helpless.
I tried Time-out technique but it failed too. Rather, Give-in is working.
If your Kid does not like sharing things, accept it and ask them for their approval before sharing their belongings. It would help them think over and most of the times, they agree as you made them feel important, which is what they want.
When we are out, talking to them is not possible as Kid is in play mode and does not respond positively to counseling and hugs. This is when I simply gather my things, pick him up, and take off. It is helping him understand that hitting means no play.
Even if sometimes I lose my calm, I apologize to him later. It helps them to accept that anyone can make a mistake but its good to accept it and feel sorry.
Do you also feel bad for rude toddler behavior? Share the tips that worked out for you.
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