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LIFE

Why I regret what I cannot control now?

August 16, 2016

Lately I found myself in a vicious circle of Regret and Pain.

Why Do I regret? Am I not happy with my Current life? or I am just comparing my real Life with “could be” Life?

I think the second answer is correct because I am happy, I have reasons to celebrate, I have people to laugh with, things to joy for.

 

We normally regret on 2 things:

  • Things we could not control
  • Things we could control

But now, we cannot control both. It is already over- good or bad.

I have found this great checklist having “Some of the biggest regrets people have” at Reflection from me

 

Did you ever regret anything?

SELF ANALYSIS

  • I quit the Job I struggled for, to be with my Family.

If I would not- I would not be happier than I am today.

  • Loosing precious things

If I did not- I would not have learned to keep them safely now.

  • I am still there (w.r.t. Salary) where I was 5 years back.

If I would not- I would not be able to spend quality time with my Kid.

  • Not letting go of petty arguments.

If I did not- I would not be able to wake up fresh every morning.

  • Not spending enough time with parents or grandparents whilst we had the chance.

If I would not have left my dream Job- I would be away from the ones I love and the ones who Love me.

  • Not looking after our physical or mental health.

I regret the days I do not spend mornings doing exercise- But does it help? No, it doesn’t. Better option would be to not repeat it daily.

  • Hanging on to hurt and disappointment.

Yes, my favorite(not literally). I do it often. I hurt people, not strangers but my loved ones- I hurt them by my words and then myself by regretting on it.

  • Not following our passions.

I wasn’t and it was making me sad. But now, I break the barriers and start following my passion.

  • Thinking only more money or power would make us happy.

If only Money could make me happy then Why I wasn’t happy when I was away from my Family and was earning Good.

  • Putting material items before quality time spent with loved ones.

I never want to regret this. This is why I keep weekends Work-free.


There are few things which I could control it before it happened, but I did not.

There are people who does all bad and do not regret. I regret because I want to change and not to stick with it. I want to move on without any baggage on my mind and heart.

I am forgiving myself for all the Bad I have said, for all the wrong decisions I took (Wrong as I see them but may be right for me), for all the lies I said, for all the bitterness I carried.

 

Are you ready to forgive yourself?

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Reflectionsfromme
Also read: FORGIVENESS

 

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  • Hi Upasana,

    Very good article.

    Life is all about choices.

    You have to always choose and make a decision. with every choice, you lose something and you gain something and as you have rightly said, do not regret your choices. Regret or guilt is not a positive feelings and one should make a choice of having positive feelings in life.

    When you are in trouble, you should always check the alternatives – not only alternative to circumstances but also your feelings and reactions towards the circumstances.

    • Hello Leena, welcome to my space. I love the last line- finding alternatives to feelings and reactions. I was checking your Blog – It will be helpful for my in my journey.Thanks again.

  • I too have suffered from regret at many many points in my life….And despite my best efforts, there are things I cannot forgive myself of….like not having taken that one extra step that would have made all the difference….but then I have to constantly practice forgetting – it is momentary but it helps….after all, life is all that you are living in the present moment…..It is a hard thing to do, but worth it……Interesting post Upasna…..:)

    • You are right Sunaina- Life is about present. Thanks for sharing your thoughts. Its only yesterday I was reading a book “I of the storm”. It says – “There is a natural healing process inside us. So, if we are not able to forgetting the things which hurt us, we fall ill (mentally or physically) to let the body rest and heal itself. That is why it is said that -Time heals everything.

  • We can’t turn back the clock but we can forgive ourselves, learn from our regret and move forward to the place we want to be – this post is chock full of food for thought!

    • Yes, I really want to be there where there are no regrets.. Thanks Sammie.

  • Regret can really cripple us and stop us enjoying our lives. We made the choices we did for a reason and even if they turned out to lead us away from our authentic selves the best thing we can do is learn, forgive and take charge now. Great post lovely xx #mg

    • Yes MG, It was crippling me. I am slowly learning ” Things cannot be perfect and people cannot be the way I want.”

  • I follow the policy suggested by Carlos Castaneda’s Don Juan: “Do not regret; make decisions.”

    But life throws very unpleasant experiences on our way. We feel like looking back and regretting. Regret is of no use whatever the cause.

    • True that Matheikal but some learn this the hard way. But I am glad I did. Thanks for passing by.

  • anamika agnihotri

    I have also been there where you are coming from, on almost all the points. Self-analysis is a good thing and making realisations too. But we must stop at just that. Once done with realisations, we must promise ourselves for not looking back. This is also what I tell myself repeatedly.

    • Thanks Anamika for reassuring me that i am not alone here and making me realize that there should be a full stop. My promise time has come. I hope I would never cross this path ever again. I am trying to find out something as a checkpoint. Any suggestions?

      • anamika agnihotri

        Try meditating every morning to yourself about your promise. The mind needs continuous reiteration. Fix alarms in your phone for various times of the day. With the alarm ringing, check how you have been feeling. Good feeling means no regrets 🙂 I know these 2 points appear bookish and theoretical but no harm in trying them.

        • No, not at all bookish but I think they are practical. I will surely try them Anamika. Thanks for your help.

  • Vasantha Vivek

    Mind provoking post, Upasna !!! These words resonate myself more ……

    Hanging on to hurt and disappointment.
    Yes, my favorite. I do it often. I hurt people, not strangers but my loved ones- I hurt them by my words and then myself by regretting on it.

    I too regret for this. But after my realization …… I happily made it go …… now feeling free …… and being very cautious in not repeating the same pattern. Thanks for sharing, dear !!!

    • Thanks Vasantha for your positive comment. Its strange why we hurt the ones we love rather than strangers. May be expectations make this happen. Whatever it is, I need to end this. Yes, I have to be very cautious as its hard to let go a bad habit.