Are you Self-serving or Selfish?

October 16, 2017
am i selfish

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At any point of Life, when I look back, I see that – It was all about me. The decisions I made, the path I took and the people I chose- I did it for myself.

Everything I do, I do it for my happiness.


Am I selfish this way? No, because the most important person in my Life is Myself.

When I feel this way, I cannot not let anyone or anything rob my peace of mind.

It took me some time to realize this-

If our own happiness is our top most priority, we would not let the negative feelings or people trouble us.

am i selfish


When I took my MNC Job, it was my happiness. And when I quit it for my family, it was again my happiness.

Now, being a Mother. when I feed my child first even if I am hungry, its still me. I feel satisfied and happy when I do this.

When I help someone, its me who feel happy.

When I donate, its me who feel content and good about myself.


When you visit a spiritual place, are you trying to please God or your own Self?

I visit religious places because I feel good, I feel close to God, I feel more energetic, I feel more thankful.

Even behind our selfless acts, we have hidden self-interest i.e. our Happiness. We feel happy seeing others happy and smiling.



Earlier, when I labeled someone else as the most important person in my Life, expectation started building up. Now when the most important person in my Life is MYSELF, I do not blame anyone, I do not expect much.


For long, I blamed my Husband for being the reason behind my Job quitting.

But now I take 100% responsibility for the decisions I make and for creating the Life I am living.


We let other’s words or acts make us feel uncomfortable. We all do this. Stop it now.

am i selfish

At the end, it’s YOUR life and You deserve the best.


Wherever you go. Be a happy one!

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  • Reply Human October 25, 2017 at 1:50 am

    Hi Upasna, context is good in this article but reading at the content and comments of the readers sounds like every women is having trouble with relationship specifically with Husband. I am studying the human behavior regarding relationships from past 2 years. I have found that it is not the relationship which is giving hard time to us. Its our own state of mind which gets hindered by consequences happening around us which includes media , environment pollution and food. I don’t want to make it long or else it will be a whole book of its own. Big thing short, start enjoying every little moment of our life. It is very precious and it is good that we are not immortals. πŸ™‚

    • Reply Upasna November 2, 2017 at 2:49 pm

      Hey I am really happy that you share our thoughts. Come on, tell us more.
      I think we Women become too dependent on Husbands once we get married that we relate each and everything to them. Our world starts revolving around just 1 person and that cliche which we listen to while growing up- Once you get married, your Husband is your everything. It takes times to understand this and break the vicious circle of blame.
      It’s great that you noticed this. You are right..enjoy every moment which I learned the hard way. I could not find your Blog link. Do you have one?

  • Reply JayanthyGovindarajan (@JayanthyG) October 24, 2017 at 3:44 pm

    Very good post Upasna! I am in this process and I am so glad this has helped you! It is very true, but I have played victim for sometime and now I know I quit my job for myself and not for my hubby! πŸ™‚

    • Reply Upasna October 25, 2017 at 11:21 am

      Thanks Jayanthy…How we always try to find the escape point for our own decisions.

  • Reply G Angela October 23, 2017 at 4:57 pm

    I am so glad i am reading this – one of the issues I deal with students in the campus is negative talk about self, Because somebody out there told them so:) and they get into criticizing self,putting themselves down and the list goes on.

    I keep reminding them (also myself) constantly that what others say is not important, but what I say to myself everyday is the most important thing in life. So teach them some beautiful affirmations to tell oneself…. and it definitely works.

    • Reply Upasna October 25, 2017 at 11:22 am

      Really, what we say to ourselves is most important. Thanks for sharing your thoughts Angela. Kudos to you for motivating your students. We need more people like you.

  • Reply akshata October 18, 2017 at 1:07 am

    so glad you found the secret to inner peace. I discovered it late too but I have seem life get more awesome with self love. I am linking up soon.

    • Reply upasna October 24, 2017 at 12:01 pm

      Thanks for linking up Akshata. I am loving your solo travel series. Self-love is what I am grateful for.

  • Reply Ramya October 17, 2017 at 5:23 am

    So true.. I have learned these facts late but it helped me always. We should love ourselves and take important decisions by ourselves without blaming anyone but us for good/ bad result.

    • Reply Upasna October 17, 2017 at 1:37 pm

      Thanks Ramya for sharing your thoughts on this. I am glad I reached there and not too late.

  • Reply Vishal Bheeroo October 16, 2017 at 4:14 pm

    As a person we deserve no less than the best and happiness where all major decisions weigh on us. It is important to take care of the self and no don’t find it selfish but help one to grow or take care of the individual. I agree.

    • Reply Upasna October 17, 2017 at 1:39 pm

      Thanks Vishal for backing up my views. Yes, responsibility of decisions should lie with us.

  • Reply Vasantha Vivek October 16, 2017 at 2:36 pm

    Well said, Upasna, Earlier I was also a victim of playing this blame game with my hubby. As you said, once I realized that I myself is responsible for my happiness and not my hubby, my entire perspective about happiness got changed. Now I also keep myself before anyone and that helped me to be with no expectations. I too prefer wearing saree, doing pooja, visiting ashrams and donating thins – all for my happiness only. Loved every quote you shared.

    • Reply Upasna October 17, 2017 at 1:46 pm

      Really! Thanks for sharing this Vasantha. I am happy to know that I was not alone. Its so strange sometimes, how we unknowingly do everything for ourselves.

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