Things that deviates us from being happy

July 10, 2020
being happy

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Happiness did not came naturally to me and it gave me a tough time in the past.

There are many reasons that deviates me from being happy. Not sure when but when I stopped giving my attention to those reasons, it was easy to be happy.

It was like jumping in mud puddle. The more I jumped, the more mud I had on my clothes.

I have a small exercise for you all.

Take 2 mins of your time and list 5 things that distracts you from being happy.

You may have mentioned someone’s name, your job, your finances or your current situation.

I did the same. But the real reason behind our unhappy state is not them. It’s how we deal with them.


There are endless reasons to be unhappy but we need to constantly push them back to be happy and content.

What you focus on is what becomes becomes powerful.

So, whatever it may be. Do not focus on that and stay there for long. The more quickly we move on, the easier it is for us to be happy.


At any point in your Life, you won’t feel that Life is totally under your control and everything is going as per your wish.

There must be one thing or one area or one person who you feel the reason of your unhappiness.

So, it is on us to stop playing this Ego game with Life and flow with it. Let the things move on and accept few things the way they are.

Related postPerfect recipe for a happy childhood


We all have both negative and positive people around us. As much as we enjoy the company of the positive person, we also get annoyed by the negative one. That person may be our closed one, our colleague, our Boss or anyone you have to deal with.

Though we should try to be away from such people but sometimes it’s not possible. You can neither keep distance nor you can change them. They become the constant reason of our disappointment.

It reminded me of a quote:

You can’t change how people treat you or what they say about you. All you can do is change how you react to it.

Nicky Gumbel


Ahhh! The pain point of many. More money does not ensure more happiness but the more you manage your finances, the more happy you will be.

Less or more, you should manage it properly to not let it become a headache.


Many times we blame a small incident or event for our unhappy state. One may be disappointed by Kid’s tantrum or backtalk, by Partner’s disrespectful tone or by someone interference.

Disappointment is natural but we should not let those small events steal our happiness. We should not let them be the reasons of labeling our day as “bad”.


We always have a big plan at the back of our mind. A big vacation, a big Car, a big salary package etc.

While running behind these big thingies, we tend to ignore the small wins, small events that really sums up to happiness.

And when those big plans doesn’t work, happiness fades away. Of course, it doesn’t seems good when you don’t get what you dreamed of. But don’t define them as your happiness index.

Celebrate the small– small events, wins or achievements. Someone’s smile, a hug or kiss, a note of appreciation, talking to your loved ones, your pet or having a meal together as a family.

Celebrate these blessings and you will not see any reason that has the power to shake your happiness pillar.

Things that deviates us from being happy
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I would like to read your list of things that makes you unhappy and how you pushed them back.

I am glad you are here. If you like my posts, please subscribe or just share it with your circle. Thank you.

This post is written for SpeakEasy Blogging Challenge by Ruchi & Dipika


©Upasna aka Comeback Minimalist. This article is the property of the site’s author. Any unauthorized use or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Upasna. With the right and specific direction to the original content.

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  • Reply jasmin October 5, 2020 at 3:24 pm

    Hello Upansa! Greeting..!!
    I am thankful to you for sharing this useful information. I found this resource utmost beneficial for me. .. Thank you for the wonderful article
    jasmin recently posted…Best Flatbed Scanner UK 2020 ReviewsMy Profile

  • Reply Everette August 17, 2020 at 11:41 am

    What a great post! Simple things you never thought could be interfering with your happiness. Something to think about.

  • Reply Jenna August 12, 2020 at 2:12 am

    Great post Upansa! This is such a great post given the current social climate. It can be hard during these trying time to focus on the positives, but I really like these points that you made – especially about finances! One thing I’ve been trying to do is meditate every morning before I start my day to get myself into the present moment. I find that I am a lot happier when I am doing life presently than if I’m thinking too far ahead in the future or too far back in the past.
    Thanks again for your incredible insight!

  • Reply Florian Ehrlichmann August 7, 2020 at 1:08 pm

    Hello my name is Florian i just read your blog and it really indicates what is meaning of happiness

  • Reply Mitali Sharma August 2, 2020 at 6:38 pm

    hello mam, i really thankful to you and want to share that this blog is really help me a lot , i get motivated also that i used to worry a lot about my things but now understand the true meaning of happiness and this will help to improve ourselves thank you so so much !!!! Your blogs really brings positive energy!!!! Love this!!..

  • Reply crcakshaven July 27, 2020 at 1:14 pm

    thank you for giving a piece of great information about the application.
    crcakshaven recently posted…Switch Sound File Converter 8.18 Crack With Keygen Here (Now)My Profile

  • Reply Gestor July 25, 2020 at 12:55 pm

    Upasna…….. Nice topic, tank you for shared

  • Reply Partha Banerjee July 23, 2020 at 10:44 pm

    Hi Upasna,

    A fantastic read and I especially agree with “waiting for something big” can be a huge distraction to our happiness.

    As you say, we should rejoice in and enjoy our small victories, no matter how insignificant they can seem.

    The famous saying goes, “Happiness is the journey, not the destination.”

    So, enjoy the ride and be happy along the way, rather than believing that chasing a certain status or goal is the key to happiness.

    Thanks once again for the great article.

  • Reply Shubha Tiwari July 22, 2020 at 12:46 am

    Hi Upasana,
    Awesome article👍 we should always try to surround ourselves with the people who make us happy, the people who dpread positivity. Nice points, we explained.
    Shubha Tiwari
    Shubha Tiwari recently posted…Female Foeticide- Meaning, Reasons & Solutions.My Profile

  • Reply Kedar Joshi July 18, 2020 at 7:07 am

    Hi Upasana – This is a wonderful blog. It is important to live in the present to stay happy, but with an eye on the future and learning from the past. I liked the way, you have structured and articulated this blog. Thanks for sharing.

  • Reply Mandavi Jaiswal July 17, 2020 at 5:50 pm

    This is simple truth, the people around us can make us truly happy or unhappy. SO its better to choose the people you want to be with

  • Reply Amritha Srinath July 14, 2020 at 6:36 pm

    I agree with these pointers. Often our huge expectations and validation from others is what makes us distressed. Once we realise these things and constantly keep reminding the self not to be bothered, smile often, etc. happiness is all ours to share.

  • Reply Richa MIna July 14, 2020 at 6:20 pm

    We always have things around us that would make us unhappy but the reasons to be happy are there too, so we all have to find our own reason to be happy.

  • Reply Mayura Amarkant July 14, 2020 at 1:04 pm

    There are so many reasons to be unhappy. However, if we choose to be happy, we can. Thank you for writing this wonderful post. #SpeakEasyWithRuchiNDips

  • Reply Disha July 14, 2020 at 11:43 am

    Even I agree with you, getting away from negative people and not depending too much on external factors for our happiness is a good thing. Being able to do focus on important things in life is a secret to happiness.

  • Reply MeenalSonal Mathur July 13, 2020 at 9:42 pm

    Yes sometimes we blame few small things in life and ignore the high happiness coming our way. Uou have well crafted all possible reasons for being happy .

  • Reply Judy Morris July 13, 2020 at 7:11 pm

    I so agree there are may constant that cause unhappiness. Expectations from others and finances are the major ones for sure.

  • Reply Roma July 13, 2020 at 6:54 pm

    True we are our own enemies when we allow these issues to that away our happiness from us. A very thought provoking post indeed

  • Reply Swarnali July 13, 2020 at 6:22 pm

    Upasna, I really like your tiny exercises. They are very effective. As you said, we should celebrate small things to celebrate happiness. Lovely post dear.
    Swarnali recently posted…Be your own kind of SuperwomanMy Profile

  • Reply Pragnya Mishra July 13, 2020 at 6:12 pm

    Awesome exercise that eventually breaks down on things that trigger unhappiness in us. I liked the freshness of your post.

  • Reply Hansa Kajaria July 13, 2020 at 1:35 pm

    I will share a bit of my story. There wer some people who despite being good to them didnt treat me well. It did get on me emotionally and gradually with tme I accepted their behaviour but didnt stop being good to them. With time, there was a change in their attitude towards me and I saw that now they finally have started being good to me an appriciating em for what I am today. So I dont tell people bother me and make me sad. I give them time to accept me.

  • Reply Aesha Shah July 13, 2020 at 11:55 am

    Most of tend to live in the future. I have consciously tried to push back those thoughts and rather enjoy the small joys of the present. If we don’t dwell too much into the future then simple life pleasures also give us immense joy. This lockdown & Virus has really put so many things into perspective for me. One thing I know is that we haven’t seen the next moment so we should try and be kind to everyone around us. And we automatically receive so much kindness & love that nothing else matters & life is beautiful.

  • Reply Aditi Kapur July 13, 2020 at 11:35 am

    I agree with you. There are many things that deviate us from being happy and the list is longer than the things that make us happy;)
    In our attempt to find big happy moments, we forget to enjoy little moments that matter the most.

  • Reply Surbhi prapanna July 13, 2020 at 9:54 am

    Such an awesome post upasana and I could hear your inner voice. Like you, I also feel sad and disappointed with things when they didn’t happen as I had planned. But with the time, I had learnt creative ways to deal with this kinds of situation. Agree, we can’t change everything but we can change our reaction towards that kind of situation. And it is ultimate way to stay happy and positive.

  • Reply Debidutta Mohanty July 13, 2020 at 6:14 am

    I personally feel high expectations most of the time abduct our happiness. Happiness comes when we start balancing the events of life with the right attitude. Well- mentioned pointers.

  • Reply Geethica Mehra July 12, 2020 at 10:54 pm

    All the points are so relevant, Upasna. Instead of waiting something, it’s better to start accepting with what we have else there will be no saturation point.

  • Reply Neeta Kadam July 12, 2020 at 3:52 pm

    Agree that we can’t change what people think about us. We can change only the way we react.

  • Reply Sadvika July 12, 2020 at 2:35 pm

    Really inspired story! They are so brave! And the last points your said, I truly feel them!!
    We have to let go to welcome the good things. Good article. 👍🏼

  • Reply Sadvika July 12, 2020 at 2:30 pm

    We must make ourselves happy! Then only we can provide happiness to others. Well said, happiness is from with in! Love reading your blog post. 👍🏼

    • Reply Ujjwal Mishra July 16, 2020 at 5:57 pm

      Waiting for some big happiness and missing out on living current moments is miserable. Instead of reaching a destination we must start enjoying the journey itself.

  • Reply Kavita Singh July 12, 2020 at 1:52 pm

    Absolutely loved reading this blog, from money to focus on right thing. Happiness is a state of the mind and we should indeed focus on things that make us happy.

  • Reply Archana Srivastava July 12, 2020 at 5:08 am

    Very well presented the checklist of the things that majorly deviates us to be happy, I love the writing technique, even I also follow this when I feel low for any reason and try to find out the exact cause behind and yes this idea really works.
    Archana Srivastava recently posted…KEYs OF HAPPINESS!! #SpeakEasyBloggingChallengeMy Profile

  • Reply Alpana July 12, 2020 at 1:16 am

    I agree to all the point Upasna. Many times, the reason for our unhappiness or lets say it the other way, the reason that can make us happy is in front of us but we get so busy in pointing out and worrying extra importance to the other side is we go blind. The only thing we should do is staying in the present moment, and being thankful for what we are getting.

  • Reply Manisha July 12, 2020 at 12:35 am

    We must celebrate our blessings because that is our true happiness.
    Manisha recently posted…5 Online Shopping Tips to save moneyMy Profile

  • Reply Swati Mathur July 11, 2020 at 7:27 pm

    Completely different take on happiness! Well for me it’s me and only me who can deviate from being happy. I am a complete believer of ownership. I am the one who is responsible and accountable for what ever happens in my life.

  • Reply Prisha Lalwani July 11, 2020 at 7:20 pm

    I absolutely loved the fresh perspective on this blog post – especially waiting for something big. I’m guilty of waiting for the big break, the long holiday, and it has often taken away my happiness because I expect too much

  • Reply Michael July 10, 2020 at 10:05 pm

    Hello Upansa,

    Thank you for the motivation and ideas.
    Sometimes the trauma is too big that you just can’t ignore, manage or deal with it efficiently.
    I recently went through a very tough economic crash and came to a whole a new realisation about life and happiness.
    I have always had my finances and plans under control but when the world crashes around you and you lose everything in an instant it’s a lot easier said then applied.
    We lost everything overnight, the banks took all of our savings, local currency hyper-inflated and we were forced to start from scratch without any support., we’re simply in survivor mode.
    We went from big dreams and big plans to just: how are we going to make ends meet at the end of the month.
    I am still struggling through the depression but the more I think about it, It’s all about the little things I wish I did before everything was lost.

    I wished I had traveled more, or bought all the things I needed instead of saving and economizing and worrying about future finances.
    I guess what makes us happy is enjoying all the effort we made why we still can.
    Take breaks, do things that makes you happy, you never know how bad tomorrow will be.

    Michael recently posted…Top Five Easy And Fast Ways To Learn English TodayMy Profile

  • Reply Ruchi Verma July 10, 2020 at 9:59 pm

    I agree these things make us unhappy but if you see the good part of this, it will bring happiness for sure!!

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