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SELF IMPROVEMENT

Confessions of a Teary eyed

August 18, 2017
crying in public

Yes, I commit- I cannot control crying in public.

I know I am being judged when I cry in open. People may perceive me as weak or immature woman. But I cannot help it. Whether its an emotional scene on TV or an emotional talk with anyone, I could not stop my tears to flow.

 

The other day, I was totally upset over something and when on the same day, my Son’s School teacher complained me of his hitting behavior, I could not control my emotions.

She was consoling me not to get stressed over this trivial matter but I knew, it was something else that made me cry. All I needed was a trigger and it was BOOM!

Later, I felt weird and so embarrassed over my behavior.

 

It was not the first time. My tears have broken the flood gates in the past too. Being it a serious discussion with my Team lead or a Friend facing a family issue or an Accident.

I understand we have all been in a situation where we suddenly find the tears welling up in our eyes but I think I should control my tears in front of anyone but each time I try, I fail badly.

 

I wish people would not manipulate me for my tears. Its just the way my Brain vent out the stress.

I researched over the subject and found that there are ways to control crying in Public:

  • Deep breathing
  • Pinching hard the webbed piece of skin between your thumb and pointer finger or by pinching the bridge of your nose
  • Step away from the situation or place
  • Focus on the current situation because sometimes, its only in our mind.
  • Try to keep neutral facial expressions.

    In the long run-

  • Try Meditation
  • Control negative thoughts
  • Do not try to control the tears or pain at first. It only wells up more tears. Try crying when alone.

 

Resources: https://healdove.com/misc/How-to-Control-Tears-and-Stop-Crying, http://nymag.com/scienceofus/2015/02/how-to-stop-yourself-from-crying.html

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16 Comments

  • Reply JayanthyG September 25, 2017 at 8:29 pm

    I am a cry baby too! I totally I understand your situation! However, I move away at times. Mostly, I just keep silent and cry later. I actually find it good to cry.

  • Reply Gayatri Gadre September 25, 2017 at 12:11 pm

    There is nothing wrong with crying in public but I think it’s a good idea to judge in front of whom. I cry in public places sometimes if I am having an intense discussion with someone close to me. But if it is someone not really close to me then I take a deep breath and ask myself 2 questions a) Does this person matter to me? b) Will I remember this situation 2 months/6 months/1 year down the line and feel the same way? And it helps.
    It is healthy to show our emotions but beware of people exploiting it.

  • Reply A September 15, 2017 at 3:10 pm

    I think it’s more about finding the right balance. Sometimes it’s ok to cry. No matter where it is. We just have rto decide when

  • Reply Wandering Soul September 14, 2017 at 9:12 pm

    Agree with some of the above comments. Sometimes it is okay to give vent to emotions, even in public. I remember a very embarrassing incident when I was fired at my workplace for no reason and I cried buckets right there in the board room. I felt stupid later, and my insensitive jerk of a boss couldn’t care less. But I couldn’t possibly have expected to be fired like that and I couldn’t contol my emotions. So i can well imagine and empathise with you. 🙂 Great tips there, I wish I had known and used them then.

  • Reply rashi mital September 14, 2017 at 8:09 pm

    I am very emotional too. Although I don’t cry in public, I’m very good at concealing them when things get piled up. M surely gonna try the instant ways mentioned in the post. Thanks, didn’t these things can work. 🙂 Cheers!

    • Reply rashi mital September 14, 2017 at 8:13 pm

      i’m NOT very good at concealing them. Missed mentioning ‘NOT’ in the previous comment.

  • Reply Bellybytes September 14, 2017 at 4:01 pm

    How I envy you the ability to give vent to your emotions. It’s always better to cry and let things out than bottle them and let them simmer. Of course you can’t always cry at the drop of your hat and your techniques to hold back the tears will eventually help.

  • Reply Nupur September 14, 2017 at 12:49 pm

    Meditation helps! I do a body scan meditation.

  • Reply Hayley@ Mission: Mindfulness August 25, 2017 at 3:47 am

    I totally get this – I’m a crier too and no it’s good for me but not really to do in public and certainly not in front of my students at school! The pinching thing works for me and meditation too! #mg

    • Reply Upasna August 31, 2017 at 12:55 pm

      It gets so embarrassing sometimes. I am trying the pinching technique though. Thanks for taking time to comment Hayley.

  • Reply Corinne Rodrigues August 24, 2017 at 7:11 pm

    I never used to cry in public, Upasana, but with age, I do. I think it’s perfectly healthy! Why would you want to control it?

    • Reply Upasna August 31, 2017 at 1:17 pm

      I just want to control my tears in front of those who are not related to the matter in my head. Thanks for the kind words Corinne.

  • Reply Rajlakshmi August 19, 2017 at 7:28 pm

    I tear up very easily and the only way for me to control is to move away from the place. I have never watched series like America Got Talent or BGT without a bunch of tissues. I like your methods to control this… and looks like unknowingly I follow few of them too 🙂

    • Reply Upasna August 31, 2017 at 1:18 pm

      OMG, we are so alike. Moving away sounds workable. Looking up is another way to stop them rolling down. Do try. Thanks for sharing your thoughts Raj.

  • Reply Patrick Dykie August 18, 2017 at 7:07 pm

    I don’t see anything wrong with crying in public. My wife is an incredibly strong person, but sometimes the world gets the best of her, and she’ll cry. I don’t see it as a weakness. It means we have the ability to love, feel empathy for others, enjoy happiness, and experience. joy. On the other side, we also can feel hurt, pain, despair, and sadness. All of these things are what make us uniquely human, and special. Don’t be so hard on yourself.

    • Reply Upasna August 31, 2017 at 2:57 pm

      Yes, this superpower makes us human. I think I need not feel guilty. The next day Kiddo’s teacher messaged me saying its fine. I understand. I felt so light that moment. Thanks for being here Patrick.

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