Love or Arranged Marriage ?
Ask me which is better and I will tell you- None.
Okay, Jokes apart but Marriage is something which is always a debatable topic. If you are a south Asian especially in India, Pakistan, Bangladesh and Sri Lanka, you have 1 more reason to debate over Marriages- Love or Arranged marriage?
It’s like asking the person to choose between two same distant paths taking to single destination.
Mine is Love Marriage but that doesn’t make me vote for the same. I told you It’s debatable!
Love is the base of Marriage
All you need to sustain a Marriage is Love and Love takes time to grow.
Both, Love or Arrange Marriage, have these things in common- Knowing each other, accepting each other’s flaws and a decision to settle with indifference.
Then how does they differ. They differ by the order of events.
In Love Marriage, couple spend time together (off-line/on-line), get to know each other and Love happens. They then decide to settle down for a marriage.
In Arrange Marriage, couple is introduced to each other for the intent of Marriage. They get to know each other and decide to settle down for a marriage. Love happens afterwards.
See, Love happens in both kind of marriages. If the base of marriage is not Love but something else, nothing will work, neither Love nor arranged.
You can never find a Perfect Match
If you are marrying a human being, imperfections exists. In Love Marriage, couple is aware of each other’s flaws beforehand. So, they easily get along and do not feel the pressure of hiding their respective imperfections from each other.
In Arranged Marriage, couple may feel insecure which may make them hide their flaws from each other and trying to portray a perfect picture.
Love marriage only focuses on the compatibility of the couple and overlook the difference Families have in terms of Economic status, Job quality or Living style.
Whereas, Arranged marriages happen only when the two families are compatible with each other.
Marriage is a process and involves decisions to take about arrangements, about guest list and about the financial exchange that normally happens in India.
In Love Marriages, Couple has the liberty to discuss these things frankly and without any burden from he other side. All their focus is on getting married rather than disputing over these issues.
In most of the arranged marriages, couple cannot talk openly about these and this may lead to disagreements or minor conflict among the families.
Marriage needs commitment
Both kind of marriages need equal amount of commitment and work to sustain.
It needs respect, compromise and continuous effort to thrive marriage.
I feel the success rate of marriage doesn’t depend upon whether its Love or Arranged marriage but rather on how the two people settle with their indifference.