Let me make a confession first– Our first Kid was not a planned one.
I was not at all ready to be a Parent. Even my Husband was not. But it happened.
I happily announced it to everyone around.
I tried not to show the disappointment to my partner but once when we were out on an after-dinner walk, I started crying. My husband was clueless. I was reluctant to tell him the truth because, by default, women are expected to be happy even at the thought of being a Mother. Hubby was equally stressed but he did not cry (at least not in front of me.)
It’s not that we don’t love Kids but we were not just ready, financially and emotionally.
But I am glad it came out that day because after that we accepted the reality which helped us move forward rather than feeling guilty.
We discussed everything frankly because we did not want to regret having Kids.
HOW NOT TO REGRET HAVING KIDS
Marriage is beautiful but its not happily ever after.
Having a child or not is one’s independent decision and I respect that but once you have Kids, do not let this regret affect your Parenting or your Life, in general.
Note– Regret does not mean that you hate your Kids but only a feeling where you doubt your decision.
Accept your current status
You might be a carefree adult who hates responsibility.
You might be a person who does not love to be around Kids.
You might be a person who cannot sacrifice your freedom for anything.
But now when you have become a Parent, you need to accept your Kids wholeheartedly to LOVE them unconditionally. After all, your LOVE is all they need.
Seek and Accept the help
Someone rightly said “It needs a Village to raise a Kid”.
Parenting need not to be an isolated thing. You should seek help from others- Day care or your Mother or your Partner or anyone you can trust.
Do not say “No” if someone is willing to help. Trust them.
I honestly say– I would not be able to raise my Kids until now so easily if I did not have the support of both of my Mothers, my Husband and their Day Care Aunt.
Don’t see them as Work but Joy.
As Sadhguru Says
“Kids did not knock on your sperm requesting you to bring them to the World. They are your own decision (or mistake).”
Do not let your guilt or regret burden their childhood. Cherish them.
Make time for yourself
Adding Kids to the mix has a whole new level of difficulty and yes, they demand our constant attention.
But while doing everything for them, do something for yourself, for your mental and physical health.
Because only if you are happy,
you can make Happy Kids.
Do not ignore Self-care, which is extremely important for us, Parents.
Take time to do something that makes you happy. This need not to be a big thing but may be a hot shower, a cup of coffee, self-pampering, a good book read or a stroll.
Enjoy as a couple too
I once wrote a letter on behalf of my Husband after we became Parents- A Letter to my Wife who is now a Mom
However taking care of a child is an equal duty of both the Parents but Women get more busy due to the obvious reasons. Husbands start feeling as if their married life is dead and they are being ignored. Regret surfaces automatically when something hampers your relationship.
So, spend some time as a couple too- Go out for a short walk or drive. Join some classes together. Go out on a movie or dinner date. This will give you both an oppurtunity to grow as a Couple as well as Parents. Ultimately, You are a team now.
Plan your funds
Money is one of the common reason of regret among couples.
Kids cost us a lot but a good planning goes a long way.
If you had already plan your finances before having a baby, you have nothing to worry about but if you did not, its time to take charge of your finances.
Start saving as early as possible for their education and other needs.
They break, they make a mess, they puke, they spit, they can be rude. But then they are your responsibility and you are their FIRST LOVE.
Is it regret or our way of handling stress?
Do you really feel that you regret having Kids or is it the way your mind is handling the stress that comes with Parenting?
If you feel stressed, let me tell you- This is not gonna last forever. Stay calm and smile as much as you can.
Personal tip– Do not ever doubt your parenting.
Image source here
SHARE THIS POST via Facebook or Twitter.
DON’T MISS THE NEXT POST! Just subscribe to the Blog.