Do you dream to be a perfect Parent?
What is Perfect in this world. Nothing. No human, no animal or any creature. Its just a myth.
Then how can we dream of being perfect when it comes to Parenting.
When I became a Mother 2 years back, I pledged myself for not giving unhealthy and nutrition-less food to my Kiddo. No toffees, no chocolates, no chips or cold drinks.
I promised myself to never hurt him.
I promised myself to be around him always.
I promised myself to never miss a thing so that he would not bear the brunt.
Whom I was fooling around? No one but myself. For how long could I hide him behind my back and not let him to experience the world.
MOMENTS WHEN BEING A PERFECT PARENT DREAM WAS SHATTERED
- When he was 3-4 months old and refused to sleep all night, sometimes I used to hold him so tightly for few seconds that he would cry rather than soothe. It was my postpartum condition which made me do so. But now I feel so guilty.
- Right after he was 6 months old, we used to belt him alone in the front seat of the car which was titled and cushioned, to leave him in the day care.
- When he was 1 year old, we took him to a party where music was way too loud for him.Yes, we plugged in the cotton balls into his ears but still.
- He had his first fall from bed when he was 9 months old. It was my ignorance and I cried a lot. May be, more than how much he did.
- I slapped him for the first time(softly but out of anger) when he was 14 months old.
- He tasted a soda beverage for the first time at 15 months.
Its not that these guilt moments doesn’t occur now but those first time moments were just engraved in my heart with a little regret.
I keep working on myself to lower my expectations from myself so that guilt doesn’t consume me and we end up days with a good laughter.
What all matters is this time for that it will never rewind. These lovely moments are just slipping from my hands so fast that I could not get hold of them.
In the first year, I used to get so annoyed if I failed to took him to park on any day or if my husband picked him up late from the day care. But with time, I learned to let go of the things and still learning a new thing each day Life tries to teach me.
My new promise is not to take the things too seriously and if something goes off the plan, I will not let other things go for a toss. I will not compare my Life with anyone else and makes the things difficult for myself.
I shall not be too hard on myself and hope this will make the things easier when second one comes our way.
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